Late last night, long after my roommate had gotten back from a party and the neighborhood had fallen asleep I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, watching the shadows dance. Wondering what this year would bring, how it would be different from all those before it.
Last night I turned 21.
Milestones like this make my life seem unbalanced. Libras like balance. I mean change can be a good thing for those who are unhappy but what about us that were happy and then change came along and fucked it up? I was happy in France. Happier than I have ever been. I actually felt like I was living. Not simply going through the motions. Wake up, walk to class, sit and stare, go to work, type something, go home, watch tv, eat dinner, study, fall asleep.
Rinse, repeat. This mundane existence isn’t living, is it?
So this morning I decided somewhere between taking my first sip of coffee and walking out the door, that this year would be different. I am going to
challenge dare myself to find something more. To find the happiness I seek. This is going to be a different birthday.
That being said, Birthdays are weird. Everyone wishes you Happy Birthday, and the older you get the more you realize that you are just getting older. They are wishing you older.
More things are worrying me now, like bills and classes and jobs and graduation. I am being fully embraced by this thing they call the Real World. I am no longer that young, doe-eyed traveler, who likes to paint and write. I am now responsible for my actions.
Tonight I am going out with people I have gotten to know over the last two years and are proud to call friends. I am excited to order my first Legal drink (in the US at least). I have been thinking this over (or over-thinking which ever you choose), because it is not a small decision. Mohitos, Tequila Sunrises, Cosmos, Mimosas… All the colors of the liquor rainbow are running through my brain.
I am looking forward to a night of casual drinks with friends, nothing serious to talk about, only jokes and stories to share. That is all I want from tonight.
That being said, I do like presents. And the best present I got for my birthday (besides the new boots from my parents) is my best friend telling me that she is going to be coming up this weekend to celebrate with me. This piece of news thrills me more than you could ever know. She hasn’t been to Seattle to visit me before and this will be the perfect opportunity.
We will hit the town like nobody’s business so ladies lock up your brothers, and hide the booze, we are 21.