2012 in review

2012 was a big year with big adventures. I learned a new language. I started running. I got my first apartment. I turned 21.

A year ago today, I began living in France. In my six months I was there I ate new food and mastered the art of the French walk. I met best friends. We went on trips. We ate pain au chocolate and sat on blankets under trees. We listened to a poet in Morocco and watched the sun rise in the Sahara Desert.  I visited Ireland, France, Italy, Morocco and places in-between.

I saw the Atlantic ocean for the first time standing on the Cliffs of Moher. I ran around Italy during Spring Break. I saw Julia Child's house in Marseilles and walked down the street where she lived in Paris. I ate Beignets until I couldn't breath, with no regret. I found comfort in tea and emails. I cried watching "You've Got Mail" on a long train ride. I got tired. I fell in love with the old buildings and a local wine bar. I wanted to stay forever.

I embarrassed myself often and felt humbled by my surroundings. I relished being an adventurer. I became independent. I sat in solidarity and thought about my future. I fell in every country I visited, and even giving myself a black-eye, further proving the fact that I am completely lacking coordination.

I watched my little brother graduate high school, turn 18, and enlist in the United States Army. I felt scared and upset and proud.

I worked a summer for my parents. Some girls just shouldn't work construction.

I rented a small house with a new friend. I paid my first utility bill. I filled jars with flowers and rooms with candles. I started my junior year of college and declared a double major in Political Studies and French.

I struggled with depression in the fall. I reached a dark place and when I found myself laying on the floor, numb, I sought help. I am doing something I never though I would. I am seeing a therapist. Her name is Ashley, and she is helping me pick up my pieces and put myself together again.

I began jogging. I jog a lot. I started Yoga. Something I never thought I would be into. I went to a jazz club where I got blisters and ruined a new dress. I had dinner parties with friends. I danced New Years' Eve away with my best friends.

I felt happy and confused and lost and excited. When my heart hurt I ran away to the beach with my mom. I came home and felt peace. I have decided that my dreams are too important to ignore, so I will spend the rest of my life running after them. My dreams include travel, education, adventure.

I baked. I wrote. I napped.

This year taught me a lot. How to love myself and how to actually live. I accomplished so much. I did things that I know I will never forget. I thought hard about what I want to do and how I am going to accomplish it. I am both sad and excited to see this year go.