2012 in review

2012 was a big year with big adventures. I learned a new language. I started running. I got my first apartment. I turned 21.

A year ago today, I began living in France. In my six months I was there I ate new food and mastered the art of the French walk. I met best friends. We went on trips. We ate pain au chocolate and sat on blankets under trees. We listened to a poet in Morocco and watched the sun rise in the Sahara Desert.  I visited Ireland, France, Italy, Morocco and places in-between.

I saw the Atlantic ocean for the first time standing on the Cliffs of Moher. I ran around Italy during Spring Break. I saw Julia Child's house in Marseilles and walked down the street where she lived in Paris. I ate Beignets until I couldn't breath, with no regret. I found comfort in tea and emails. I cried watching "You've Got Mail" on a long train ride. I got tired. I fell in love with the old buildings and a local wine bar. I wanted to stay forever.

I embarrassed myself often and felt humbled by my surroundings. I relished being an adventurer. I became independent. I sat in solidarity and thought about my future. I fell in every country I visited, and even giving myself a black-eye, further proving the fact that I am completely lacking coordination.

I watched my little brother graduate high school, turn 18, and enlist in the United States Army. I felt scared and upset and proud.

I worked a summer for my parents. Some girls just shouldn't work construction.

I rented a small house with a new friend. I paid my first utility bill. I filled jars with flowers and rooms with candles. I started my junior year of college and declared a double major in Political Studies and French.

I struggled with depression in the fall. I reached a dark place and when I found myself laying on the floor, numb, I sought help. I am doing something I never though I would. I am seeing a therapist. Her name is Ashley, and she is helping me pick up my pieces and put myself together again.

I began jogging. I jog a lot. I started Yoga. Something I never thought I would be into. I went to a jazz club where I got blisters and ruined a new dress. I had dinner parties with friends. I danced New Years' Eve away with my best friends.

I felt happy and confused and lost and excited. When my heart hurt I ran away to the beach with my mom. I came home and felt peace. I have decided that my dreams are too important to ignore, so I will spend the rest of my life running after them. My dreams include travel, education, adventure.

I baked. I wrote. I napped.

This year taught me a lot. How to love myself and how to actually live. I accomplished so much. I did things that I know I will never forget. I thought hard about what I want to do and how I am going to accomplish it. I am both sad and excited to see this year go. 

Resolutions: 21 edition.

I've been thinking alot about beginnings lately. New beginnings. Newly twenty-one and trying to grow up. Even if that means looking hard at my life and the many paths I have to take soon. As soon as I finish with one chapter, another appears and sometimes they are harder to get through than the last, but any good book is like that. Here I am twenty-one and the whole of life is just beginning to open up to me. The future is fresh with possibility.

1/ Smile more
2/ Take more pictures
3/ Stop waisting all my money on Starbucks lattes
4/ Turn this year into my best year at school
5/ Spend every sunny day outside. Explore the City. Live like a Tourist (kinda)
6/ Live on a budget. Save, save, save and make, make, make Money.
7/ Throw away my scale.
8/ Get off the computer an hour before bedtime.
9/ Read one book a month.
10/ Continue running, try to run a race.

Real Life

Cher mes amies/Dear friends,

I am back! By back I don’t mean once again in Europe. Unfortunately. I mean I am back to Seattle for my Junior year of College (?!) and back to blogging. I decided that when I got back to the states I was going to give myself a break from blogging and see if I wanted to continue doing it when I returned to Seattle. And this summer when I found myself drinking too much Diet Coke and watching too many stupid shows with my best friends, missing blogging. It is an outlet for my writing, which I haven’t been doing a lot of this past summer to tell you the truth.

It was a weird summer for me, spent sleeping on the couch at my parents house while I looked for an apartment in the city. I also worked construction which was… Interesting? Sure a Diet coke addiction (I jest) and construction is not as interesting as traveling on a camel through the Sahara or watching the Eiffel Tower sparkle, but it is Real Life. And Real Life is not always sparkly towers and Condolas in Venice. Sometimes Real Life knocks you on your ass. Sometime Real Life is an exhausting apartment search then paying too much in Rent because you in the big city. And for a college student sometimes Real Life is papers, and lectures and finals. So welcome my dear friends, welcome to my Real Life.

Here’s a semi-short lowdown on my life thus far:

-          This summer was spent searching for apartments in Seattle with my Roommate. She is a doll. She talks way too much and eats junk food. We are basically twins. She is also a Senior this year so I might be sad in June when I realize that she will be leaving me behind to go and do great things. I might also be happy because then I won’t have to share our tiny bathroom.

-          As for my summer job… this summer my parents needed my help in their small construction business. And me being me signed on without knowing what I was getting myself into. As I was knee deep in Concrete I started to question my sanity. But I got to spend a lot of time with my family. So much family time.

-          Now working a job where you have to get up at 4:45 in the morning and when you get home at 4pm and all you want to do is die, kind of wrecks havoc on a social life. I did get a nice farmers’ tan though.

-          Basically all I did this summer is lay around on my couch-bed and watch TV with my girl Natalie. And if you thought I was kidding about the Diet Coke addiction think again. So I think what I am saying is that I need to whip my ass into shape. No more brownies, cut back on the crack in a can, and get myself to the gym. But I have set some goals for myself and I’ll be damned if I won’t reach it.

This is going to be an interesting year. Stay tuned for ranting, raving, and the semi-boring life of a girl who is about to turn 21. It’ll be good.

Bisous,

JEN

   

Reflections

I am Thankful:
- for my parents, who have my back every single day.
- for the sound of rain. It's my favorite thing in the world. Sometimes I'll close my blinds turn on my hour long soundtrack of a thundery night and just pretend.
- for books, books, books.
- for travel. It just doesn't get any better than that.
- for Iced Chai lattes.
- for Fish Tacos. Or Mexican food in general.
- for Nick my real life hero. For killing spiders for me, eating all my Nutella, and laughing at episodes of Psych with me every Wednesday, like a good little brother.
- for the Emerald shine Seattle shares with me. I love you and all your quirks.
- for clean sheets.

In 3 weeks I will be home.

Not sure how I feel about that...

This weekend was great. I laid in the sun under the trees then I dressed up and went out dancing. There was dancing while we drank berry infused wine, there was dancing in allies, there was dancing across the bridges. When I finally fell asleep I slept like a baby, with blisters in my feet.

2012 Resolutions

I love resolutions. I know that some people hate them, but I love lists, especially checklists, so this to me is just like a year long list. Love it.

2012 to do list: 

- Enjoy France: Live every moment in the present when I am France. Do everything I can, travel everywhere I can, take it all in.

- Run a half marathon: Seattle Marathon, November 27, 2012.

- Become fluent in French: see goal one. I will be there for 6 months. I will speak French everyday, all day. No excuses.

- Pay off a student loan: This will be hard since I will be paying rent for an apartment next fall, but I need to start paying them off. I still have law school to get through after undergrad.

There are a couple more personal resolutions but you don't need to know them yet. You have to buy me dinner first.

Review: My life in 2011.

- Finished Freshman year of college: Freshman year was... interesting. My roommate and I met and we became good friends. But I was introverted and found it to be tougher then I thought to make friends and get out. The rain started to get to me even though I have lived here my entire life. All these resulted in me battling depression.


- Battled Depression: probably one of the toughest things to admit, yet something that has made me the person I am today. I am learning to take care of myself and put myself out there. Locking yourself in your dorm room without talking to anyone and watching too much TV results in low self-esteem and general unhappiness. Now that I know this I am trying to figure out how to change my habits. It's tough shit.


- Had a job all year: I was blessed to grow up in a family of construction workers and Boy Scouts. Hard work is a foundation of our lives. In the Spring I worked two jobs and went to school full time. This past summer I finished my fifth year selling berries for a local farm. I got to manage more which was nice to my bank account. This Fall I could only fit one job in my schedule because I studied a lot, but they want me to come back next year which is so nice. I was extremely blessed.

- Got into a Study Abroad program: It took a lot of hard work, two consecutive classes, lots of summer homework, and saving up but I got accepted to study abroad in France. In two days I will be leaving for Grenoble, France for six months. It is one of the most life changing experiences I have ever had, and it hasn't even started! I am eternally grateful for this opportunity.

- Started Running: This is one of the things that I think has helped me battle my depression. I have started to hate my body, but running has taught me that it isn't all about appearance but about strength, commitment and faith. I know that running will be something I can have forever. Next year I am planning on running a half marathon.


- Went down a pant size: This was so exciting. I haven't be this small since... Shit I don't know. And my New Years' Eve dress? I feel pretty in this dress. And I never feel pretty in dresses. Since I will be celebrating New Years' Eve at a party, which I never do (usually it's on the couch in Pjs with Ice Cream) and in a foreign country, this is so important for me.


- Turned 20: It was nice to not be a teenager anymore, but now all I can think is I am an adult. I need to get a boyfriend and an apartment stat.


- Got a haircut: And I kind of like my hair shorter. I swore I would not get it cut since last time they cut it short, I looked like yield sign. True Story.

Overall, it was a weird year. I wasn't too happy with myself. But I feel like 2012 is going to be my year. I will be living in France for 6 months, traveling, running a half marathon, turning 21, and getting my first apartment. Perhaps a boyfriend is in the cards too?

Be nice to be me 2012, I really need it.