I thought I would just pop in and tell you how awesome my life is.
But really, I am so happy. If someone is depressed I feel like I could hug them and share all this happiness and warmth with them. I am so completely content with my life right now. And as a girl that had a rough year last year I feel like this 180 is what I needed to feel grounded again.
Where did this happiness come from you ask? I would say in three words: Ma Belle France. She has changed me completely and I feel like coming here as showed me how much I am capable of. I am here, learning a new language and living with strangers, my friends are new friends, and I am trying to strike out on my own. I am finding comfort in the unknown. And I am capable of anything.
I am not sure when this all happened. It wasn't immediately. When I stepped off that plane in Paris, I was scared shit-less and I wanted to cry. I was all alone. In a foreign country. Where they spoke another language. Then I moved in with strangers which was... Strange. And then I started a new school. Where everyone was different and spoke French. And I felt incompetent but I started studying more. I got a little (or a lot) more frustrated with the fact that I wasn't speaking French better. I started joining in at the dinner table conversations, talking with my host mom at breakfast, speaking to my classmates and friends in French. And here I am, stumbling along, happy with my effort.
Sure I am not able to discuss anything serious or fast with people, but if anyone asked me for directions I would be able to help them. And from my breakfast conversations I can talk about fishing, fruit, and the weather.
These next months are going to be great. I can feel it. Free hugs everyone!